girls' weekend guide to

Photo by Jonathan Smith via Creative Commons

When you start something new or make a change, everyone will have an opinion. It’s just the reality. It can be easy to let opinions, not business mentorship or wise counsel, derail your progress.

It’s easier to be captain when you’re not in the ship. 

Your ship could be your business or life. However, it is also easier to make changes when you are in the ship instead of on the shore. You get to experience the joys and challenges of navigating unchartered territory. When people are in the boat of your business or life with you, it gives them context to make suggestions or share wisdom with you. If you are going to run aground, you want someone waving a red flag. It is completely different if someone is standing on the shore while you are pushing out to sea telling you to avoid the waves. The waves are part of the experience.


Here are four habits to manage the opinions of others when you are starting something new or making a change:

1. Decide on a select group of mentors. Every person in your family, community group, church, who works with you at your job, or who works for you in your business do not count. If you allow all the voices to influence your decisions, you will lack clarity and understanding of your direction. Narrow the noise by selecting a couple of mentors or people who consistently give you honest feedback.

2. Be attentive to “should” when used in conversations. Everyone wants to tell someone else what to do without doing it themselves. However, you will find people who will give advice to you based on their experience of walking a similar road. Listen to the “You should do…” from people you respect and trust. Even so, giving others suggestions is a much more effective method of sharing advice than telling them “You should do…”.

3. Hone your own voice. It goes beyond finding your voice. You have to hone your voice so that it is not drowned out by opinions of others. To do this, it will require white space, which I define as time and mental freedom to think, process, and dream. You may need to go sit outside in the quiet in order to process the current state of your work and life. When you become familiar with your voice, you will be able to own your decisions instead of always relying on someone else to make decisions for you.

4. Let it go. Learn to let some conversations dissolve. Furthermore, not repeating them in your head over and over will save you mental anguish. The more you repeat a conversation to yourself, the more it literally becomes ingrained in your brain. Studies on engrams in your brain attest to this fact. Release the conversation, and keep moving.


It’s easier to give our opinion when we are not wading through the murky waters of challenge. We all need outside perspectives to help us realign with our purpose and to keep us productive. Even so, not every opinion will serve you as you move forward. The more discerning you can be, the more you can rest in your decisions.

It’s easier to be captain when you’re not in the ship, but it is more rewarding to be in the ship instead of sitting on the shore. 


How have you learned to hone your own voice? Share in the comments below!

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About Hona Amer

I help people live life to the fullest. Check out my book, Smart Work U. Follow me on TwitterFacebook, or Instagram. In order to receive updates, subscribe below.

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