Photo by Ganapathy Kumar via Creative Commons


A recent conversation included someone telling me that I should get a parrot and a log cabin down by a creek. You may be surprised by some of those details. I’ll take the log cabin and creek, but I wasn’t convinced about the parrot. I responded, “So it talks to me?”


The person responded, “No, it won’t talk to you; it will only repeat what you tell it. So, you better tell it good things like “Hona is awesome.”


I laughed, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized the truth.


Disclaimer: I am not buying a parrot, but I realized that everyone already has a parrot inside of them. If you were saying out loud what you tell yourself about yourself, how would that impact your life? Would it make you soar or grow sad? We are all already doing it, but it’s time we stop and pause the conversation we have inside our minds about our lives.


What do you tell yourself? Does it include any of these?

You never get it right.

If only you were smarter…

You really let everyone down.

If you were only more like ________ (that talented person you know)


In communication studies, we call this self-talk or intrapersonal communication. We would never tolerate someone else telling us these lies everyday about ourselves, but we allow ourselves to have these conversations without stopping it. If a friend or spouse told you these things everyday, you would become so unhappy and frustrated. We are usually willing to stand up to others, but sometimes can’t stand up to ourselves. Today is the day to change the rhetoric of how you are talking to yourself.


How would your life change if you starting these conversations with yourself?

You are doing a great job.

You are really good at loving people.

You are awesome.

You rocked that project.

You’ve got this!

If that parrot was sitting in the corner of your office, you would want it to tell you that your work mattered, you were making it count, and that you were hitting the mark. Thankfully, you don’t have to have a bird in your office to start this conversation. What you say over and over to yourself will become your anthem. A recent study even highlights the value of talking to yourself using the “you” pronoun instead of “I.” The findings indicated that more positive “you” self-talk increased performance. So, you want to increase your performance this year? We have to be willing to step up and lead ourselves before we can effectively lead others. So, this week, lead with your own self-talk and make sure it inspires you to be more rather than pointing out all of your flaws. One little change can make all the difference in how we see our life and work.


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About Hona Amer

I help people live life to the fullest. Check out my book, Smart Work U. Follow me on TwitterFacebook, or Instagram. In order to receive updates, subscribe below.

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